Exam datang lagi

Bismillah.
Alhamdulillah. akhinye, im typing! (so?)Berhabuk2 nih (ayat cliche)
huhu, cuaks wei ntah knp. exam dah dekat sangat dhni. serius xtipu. xserius sgt pn xpe tapi tapi dekat sangat2 xjadi masalah if preparation mantap, bhai(bhai?) tapi masalahnye xprepare gapo2 pn. waa (so, prgi la prepare. wat mnde dk ngadap mugo pat segi ni?) i know tapi tapi (duk cari modal) krik3. ...
Tabik spring toing2 la kat mreka2 yg rajen mace ct, kinah, alin n so forth. Mantap. Tak tercapai dek akalku. Masalahnye i dont give a damn at those things. Some ppl bile tgk org rajen, dye akan jadi maken rajen tapi vice versa ng aku. Dunno. Hate when ppl see me study. Xleh fokus. Tapi masalahnye, (byk mslh tol bdk ni) time org stadi aku xstadi, tapi time org xstadi pn, ak lagi laaa xstadi. so how come you want to beat others if they're already beat you haa? Tell me watcha gonna do. Do You think you are better enough and no need to study, tell me. Pedasss. Dats it. Nak dekan, tapi gaya macam xnak dekan. Nak jd top student, tapi kalau ad award worst student grenti ak dpat. Effort org len mengatasi ak. Even natijah ALLAH masih bagi peluang kat ak tapi effort ak xsetanding mereka. Xkan nak dabik dada bila orang laen sedih ngan result dorg and ak adlh hny golongan yg dipilih ALLAH untuk uji stakat mn tahap kesyukuran ak atas nikmat DIA yang sgt sekelumit cuma. and bnde ni buat aku lupa diri? U are so ungrateful girl.

Back to the top. Hidup aku (aku?) sgt hectic. Sangat. tapi xsehectic org len lagi. Mgu2 sblm ni ak masuk debat. Pglmn time skolah dulu masuk so xla cuak sgt, kot. Haha. Dari dulu lagi nak masuk, tapi yelah timing xsesuai. Gila nk msuk debat time ambik sbjek organik. msuk kuliah sokmo blaja organik pn xleh score apatah lagi kalau xmsuk. (eh who knows) tapi tulah. susah2 dapat la jugak top ranking, kekeke. Hentam sajaaa. At least kau da buktikan, sc student can also compete in arabic. YEs! Tapi tulah, slack when ur mom terrrrr tak appreciate what u'r doing. I mean, mm ming xsngaja terlepas ckp bila ak mntion ak xdpt ke final. she said Only quarter half? and i've been pissed off with that word. With my own mom? Crying is the last solution. Ape gune masuk bnde2 alah ni if ming xnmpk effort ak. The next day, i felt lost. In my own world. Ppl keep cheering me and congratulate me but whats da point. And nk jd cte climax nye time lecture creative thinking, i felt gloomy. duk termenung and xambek port pn ape dr ghaz dk ckp. and suddenly

Dr: "Nik" *he pointed me.
"Do you redha if u died today? " Me: speechless. Why dr ask me that. Why? Is dat a sign from Allah. I didnt answer dat n i just hide my face and give a fake smile while
reading the lecture notes. Allah, aku tersedar. Tangan mngagau nset. I need my mom! my omly mom. And trus blah kluar lecture hall. *sori dr. After calling her, all the burden seems fade away. The power of healing from a mom. Huhu. So dats it. I feel free back then(:

Tadi, dorg ajak g library but ak mtk excuse sb xrase arini nk g. Dunno. Consequence nye ak tertido dalam kesejukan sb musim ujan skrg dan duk sorg2 lam bilik while alia kt lua. Xdpt fokus. anddd ALLAH dtgkan abah dlm mimpi ak. Tetiba tersedar. ABAH.. how i miss him.. cepat2 tersedar n baca notes balek. Untungnya org yg ada abah/ayah, bila rindu terus call ke apa nk ilangkan kerinduan tuu... but me.. ya ALLAH amalina, wt u'r doing rite now.. terima lah hakikat. *lap2 air mata. Dah! Where are your focus rite now? Aku ad doa. Doa adalah penghubung kami.

"Hidup dan mati itu sgt dkat sbnrny. dipisahkan hanya dalam satu garisan. Penghubungnya adalah doa.." -HLOVATE



till then, wassalam. I pray for all my frens give the best and all out in your final. may we be a better muslim(broken, i know) andd yaah, take care.